An Open Letter to the Lady in the Bathroom

Dear Lady in the Bathroom,

A few weeks ago, during the hustle and bustle of Christmas shopping, a fair was held in a location near my parents' home.  It was one of those usual Christmas fairs- full of people looking for bargains, stalls lined everywhere, and the din of sellers inviting potential sales coming from all sides.

It was one of those days when my mother, in an attempt to give me and my husband a break so we can do our Christmas shopping, decided to take my young son, who has autism, to this fair.  

And we all know how children on the spectrum deal with busy, and I mean busy, places.

Book Review: Leading a Special Needs Ministry

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"No one has ever seen the wind. We've only experienced the effects and the results of the wind. And none of us have ever seen God. Just like the movement of a pinwheel makes us sure that the wind exists, we have ways to be sure that God exists."

Welcome to 2018 and to start it off for this blog, we have a new book review!

But first a story.

I had been thinking about this topic for quite a bit, ever since I had just written on teaching your child about God.  In fact, what prompted that post was a meeting I was involved in a few weeks before I wrote that particular article.

Waiting and Acting

And so another year has gone by, and it won't be long before we say goodbye to 2017 and hello to 2018.

I won't lie.  The last few years have been quite the roller coaster.  Starting with the lows of diagnosis, whether it was SPD or ASD, to the middles of therapy sessions and appointments here and there, to the highs of seeing progress with R in terms of speech, behavior, and schooling.  It's quite taxing for me as the parent, and I'm sure my husband and even R himself finds this exhausting.

And in the spirit of honesty, I will readily admit that this is not the family life I had envisioned for myself.  But God, in His infinite wisdom, knows what's best.  Romans 8:28 has always been of great comfort to me, more so now than ever before.

I suppose that I have learned - and of course still learning - a lot about parenting, child-rearing, and even about myself through this journey.  And with learning comes time for reflection. No better time to reflect on the past 12 months (or maybe even further) than at the moment nearing the end of the year.

I was planning to post tips on how to deal with the holidays with a child on the spectrum, as well as having sensory issues come to play, but as I continued to think on it, I realized there was one thing I wanted to discuss more than that.

Let's dive right in!

Teaching Your Special Needs Child about God

"Always pray for your child."

I've attended quite a few parenting seminars over the years, and one of the statements I've always heard from speakers of said seminars is the urgency to bring your child to the foot of the Lord's throne.

As a Christian, I do believe in answered prayers, of those petitions and praises that have been lifted up to Jesus from hearts that truly seek and love Him.  Of comfort to me is the promise that He always hears, as stated in 1 John 5:14 that "this is the confidence that we have toward him, that if we ask anything according to his will he hears us".

It is of no question that my husband and I, on the day we were married, aim to raise the children that God would bless us with in the "discipline and instruction of the Lord" (Ephesians 6:4).  And that in itself is hard enough with neurotypical children.

But when we're talking about special needs children, how do we teach them as we are commanded to in the Bible?

Book Review: Fall Down 7 Times Get Up 8

English Book Cover

Japanese Book Cover

A few weeks ago, I reviewed The Reason I Jump by Naoki Higashida.  The book, published in 2007 and translated to English in 2013, became a huge hit with parents of children on the autism spectrum, as well as many more of those who themselves were on the said spectrum.  Higashida was 13 when he wrote The Reason I Jump, which then caused a lot of skepticism as to how such deep thoughts and words could come from a non-verbal autistic boy.

In 2012, almost as if it was an answer to the skeptics, Higashida pens 自閉症の僕の七転び八起き (Jiheishō no boku no nanakorobiyaoki), using the same alphabet grid writing tool he used for his previous book.  David Mitchell and Keiko Yoshida, the husband-and-wife translating team from Higshida's previous book, return to translate this piece, and in July 2017 Fall Down 7 Times Get Up 8: A Young Man's Voice from the Silence of Autism was published.

I had heard about this book around the same time I was reading The Reason I Jump, so when a recent trip to our local bookstore had me seeing Higashida's most recent title on the shelf, I could not resist snatching this up.

So at 20 years of age, what more did Higashida want to tell us about his world?

Building a Support System for your ASD Child

In the weeks since R's diagnosis, it's been appointments and assessments here and there.

It's also time for my husband and I to process what's happening.  I can't speak for him, but this time was beneficial for me as I got around accepting the diagnosis as it was.  Reading the books I've recently reviewed also really helped me in coming to terms with it.

Did I go through denial?  Yes.  Did I go through grieving?  Yes, absolutely.  A diagnosis like this is completely devastating for a parent of a child with ASD.  You had all these dreams and aspirations and plans for what you wanted to do and wanted for this child since the day of his/her birth, all the things you wanted to experience with him/her.

A diagnosis like this shatters that.

It's okay to process the grief.  That was why I said that reading all those books really helped.  I've since learned that a diagnosis of ASD is devastating, yes, but as I've read many times, it is not a death sentence.  Depending on where on the spectrum a child with ASD is, a parent's job is to advocate for the needed support services for said child.

That said, I will go on writing this article under the assumption that you are located in the Philippines, are a parent of a child that was diagnosed with ASD, and that you're looking for information on your next steps.

So in the context of the Philippines, what support services are available for children on the spectrum?

Book Review: Ten Things Every Child with Autism Wishes You Knew

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After an intense read of something that made me feel like I was back in college, picking this one next was a good respite for my mind.

My wonderful friend J picked up this book for me, and as soon as I got it, I couldn't wait to open it and take in its contents.  The story of this book was that when my friend bought it from Book Depository, it was supposed to arrive within three weeks.  Well, those three weeks passed.  No book.  So my friend emailed them saying she didn't get it.  They promptly send a replacement copy to compensate.

Surprise, surprise, the first copy arrived a few days later.  Now we will have an extra copy lying around once it arrives.  I do have some plans for that extra copy though...

But back to the review.  Author Ellen Notbohm, mother of an older son with ADHD and a younger son with ASD, is writing from the perspective of a parent with special needs children, a perspective I so appreciate.

So, what are the Ten Things Every Child with Autism Wishes You Knew?

Book Review: Applied Behavior Analysis for Children with Autism Spectrum Disorders

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One week.

That was how long I took to read this book.  I'm a fairly fast reader, and I can usually go through a book in a few days.

This.  Oh boy.  This.

Let's get into this, shall we?