An Open Letter to the Lady in the Bathroom

Dear Lady in the Bathroom,

A few weeks ago, during the hustle and bustle of Christmas shopping, a fair was held in a location near my parents' home.  It was one of those usual Christmas fairs- full of people looking for bargains, stalls lined everywhere, and the din of sellers inviting potential sales coming from all sides.

It was one of those days when my mother, in an attempt to give me and my husband a break so we can do our Christmas shopping, decided to take my young son, who has autism, to this fair.  

And we all know how children on the spectrum deal with busy, and I mean busy, places.

So during this time, my mom took my little boy to the bathroom, and as always, he wanted to flush a few of the toilets.  It was there, based on what my mother told me, that you noticed her struggle with my son over the toilet flushing.

It wasn't a hard struggle.  There was no screaming, flailing, crying, not even the stamping of a foot on the part of my little guy.  But there was a little tug-of-war going on as my mom tried to coax my son out from the toilet cubicles.

You approached them, not to tell my mother off, but to offer some encouragement.  You told my mother that you've worked with special needs children, and that as a family, we all need to learn to be patient with my boy.

So I want to say thank you.

Thank you because we needed to hear that.  Sadly, we live in a society where the term "autistic" is used not only as an insult, but also as a derogatory term implying a person one dislikes or disagrees with is bumbling, stupid and incapable.  The masses in the Philippines use the word "autistic" much as how "retard" was used as an insult in America, that not even our former president was immune to this kind of below-the-belt comments when he displeased the voting public.  It had pained my heart, not because I was a supporter or fan of said former president, but because as a special needs parent, it was a word used to describe my child, who I love with everything I have, then to have to hear or read it used as a curse word and insult meant to demean someone else.

Thank you because we need more people like you, who saw my son's mannerisms and didn't assume that he was deliberately being belligerent.  You didn't assume my boy was misbehaving, or being stubborn, or even intentionally giving my mom a hard time.  You correctly identified his actions as sensory-seeking behavior, and didn't tell off my mother to make her grandson behave like all other children do.  Instead, you spoke with her gently, and offered some kind words of advice.

Wherever you may be, and whoever you may be, I can only pray for God's grace and blessings upon every aspect of your life and being.  The Lord sent you to my mother and son at the right place, and at the right time.

Gratefully yours,

The Mom of the Boy with Autism in the Bathroom

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