An Open Letter to the Lady in the Bathroom

Dear Lady in the Bathroom,

A few weeks ago, during the hustle and bustle of Christmas shopping, a fair was held in a location near my parents' home.  It was one of those usual Christmas fairs- full of people looking for bargains, stalls lined everywhere, and the din of sellers inviting potential sales coming from all sides.

It was one of those days when my mother, in an attempt to give me and my husband a break so we can do our Christmas shopping, decided to take my young son, who has autism, to this fair.  

And we all know how children on the spectrum deal with busy, and I mean busy, places.

Book Review: Leading a Special Needs Ministry

Book Cover

"No one has ever seen the wind. We've only experienced the effects and the results of the wind. And none of us have ever seen God. Just like the movement of a pinwheel makes us sure that the wind exists, we have ways to be sure that God exists."

Welcome to 2018 and to start it off for this blog, we have a new book review!

But first a story.

I had been thinking about this topic for quite a bit, ever since I had just written on teaching your child about God.  In fact, what prompted that post was a meeting I was involved in a few weeks before I wrote that particular article.

Waiting and Acting

And so another year has gone by, and it won't be long before we say goodbye to 2017 and hello to 2018.

I won't lie.  The last few years have been quite the roller coaster.  Starting with the lows of diagnosis, whether it was SPD or ASD, to the middles of therapy sessions and appointments here and there, to the highs of seeing progress with R in terms of speech, behavior, and schooling.  It's quite taxing for me as the parent, and I'm sure my husband and even R himself finds this exhausting.

And in the spirit of honesty, I will readily admit that this is not the family life I had envisioned for myself.  But God, in His infinite wisdom, knows what's best.  Romans 8:28 has always been of great comfort to me, more so now than ever before.

I suppose that I have learned - and of course still learning - a lot about parenting, child-rearing, and even about myself through this journey.  And with learning comes time for reflection. No better time to reflect on the past 12 months (or maybe even further) than at the moment nearing the end of the year.

I was planning to post tips on how to deal with the holidays with a child on the spectrum, as well as having sensory issues come to play, but as I continued to think on it, I realized there was one thing I wanted to discuss more than that.

Let's dive right in!

Book Review: The Reason I Jump

English Book Cover

Japanese Book Cover

Well, I seem to be on a roll.

So let's get the disclaimers out of the way, shall we?

I have no contact with the author or the publishers of the book I am about to review.  To alleviate fears of bias, let me state that I read this book through a really good friend who shared her copy with me.

And to again quote from previous reviews, "I will state that all that will be written from here on are my personal opinions and are not, in any way, meant to be taken as gospel truth or medical advice. I am not a medical practitioner or a child developmental expert. I am just a former teacher, a simple mother, a possibly autistic woman with a child who has autism."

We're clear?  Okay, let's do this.

Book Review: Autism Breakthrough

Looks like a lot in this blog is going to change.

I've always approached talking about SPD by how it differentiated from Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) and other conditions.  But now that R has been officially diagnosed, it's time to switch gears and talk about ASD and SPD hand in hand.

But because there is a lot of websites and blogs out there with info on ASD, I feel I do not need to rehash them in this blog.  I've also talked about before on how children with ASD also exhibit SPD symptoms and behaviors.  So do read up on that if you like.

If you want to know more about the condition, please refer to the following links:

• National Institute of Mental Health
• Autistic Self Advocacy Network
• WebMD on the types of ASD

Now, I advise you to read up on ASD before coming back to read my review of a book I picked up over the weekend, because it'll be very helpful to understand what it is before I ramble about it, especially since I will be using some unfamiliar terms such as stimming.

Okay, we're good? 

Let's roll.

Book Cover

To start this review, let me state that I did not get this book for free.  My husband and I bought it while we were at the Manila International Book Fair 2017.  So I hope that will put some thoughts of bias to rest.

Also, as a disclaimer of sorts, I will state that all that will be written from here on are my personal opinions and are not, in any way, meant to be taken as gospel truth or medical advice.  I am not a medical practitioner or a child developmental expert.  I am just a former teacher, a simple mother, a possibly autistic woman with a child who has autism.

We're Seeing Progress!

It's a really huge thing once your silent child starts speaking.

A year ago, I read an article by Jenn Schleich, that really spoke to my heart.  R's speech delay had caused my husband and I much anxiety, and reading her article really articulated how we felt about it.

Some months ago, it popped up in my Facebook memories, and I read it again. The last part of her post really jumped out at me, I agreed so much with it. I will quote it here, in its entirety for context, and emphasis are mine.

Our speech pathologist often jokes that some day I will come to her and beg her to make him stop talking instead. It’s a joke intended to reassure, but when she says it I know there will never be a day when I say children should be seen and not heard. There will never be a day when I wish my children would just shut up. I will never again underestimate how important communication is; to talk amongst ourselves, to share stories, is to connect with another person. The most essential human ability is communication, because without it we are alone.

So, how has R been doing in the field of speech?

SPD and Pretend Play

For his birthday last year, R's godfather, my husband's best friend, got him the LeapReader in hopes that he will start reading and writing soon.  R loved it and started using it on the books that came with the present.  His interest in the books waned soon, but strangely enough, his interest in the pen didn't.

R has also been taking notice of the things my husband and I do, especially when we talk on the phone.  He even insists on being the one to hang up the calls on our cellphones.  So I wasn't too surprised when he started putting the pen to his ears, turning it on and off, then waving to it with a "buh-buh" (his word for "bye bye" which he has pretty much learned how to say for quite some time).

However, he totally surprised me last night when he was playing with the LeapReader.  He put it to his ear, and started to babble, as though he was making conversation.  This went on for a good 3 minutes.  And then, as if to end the conversation, I heard him say, "Ok.  Buh-buh."

It took a solid ten seconds to dawn on me that he was pretending.  He was actually pretending!

I know what you're thinking.  Why is this such a big deal?

Remember one of my older posts where I mentioned the 5 signs that a child is about to talk?  Well, I mentioned there that R only exhibits 4 of the 5.  The fifth is symbolic or pretend play.  Apparently, pretend play is an essential developmental milestone for a child to learn how to speak.

So how does pretend play affect speech?

Rude Remarks while Parenting a Special Needs Child

I had just read this article that was featured in The Sensory Spectrum, and it made me remember a similar incident that happened not too long ago.

I remember when, back in Hong Kong, I had to leave R with his dad for a little while. I wasn't feeling very well since I had eaten something that didn't sit well with me so I had to go the bathroom. R, on the other hand, was wired up, wouldn't settle, and it was way past his nap time. He couldn't sleep, simply because we were out and about.

I was having a hard time carrying and taking him around as the food poisoning was causing me to weaken, and even became feverish at one point in the day. So my husband and I decided to stop at a Starbucks coffee shop so he could get a drink for us, as well as get R calm for nap. I prepared a bottle of milk for him, laid him down on the sofa, and proceeded to the bathroom.

Little Victories

And so it's official, we are enrolled as a homeschooling family with TMA Homeschool.

UPDATE 11/4/2016: TMA Homeschool is now known as Homeschool Global.

I went and attended Curriculum Day today, and listened to a short talk by Joy Tan-chi Mendoza on how to choose books and material that will be customized for the needs of the kids.  I liked how flexible it was, and with R counted as a special needs kid, it gives me a whole lot more leeway on how to teach him, considering he's not really speaking yet.

And some of the slides shown are the following:

The SPD Kid in School

This post was featured in The Sensory Spectrum on March 26, 2016.

How does SPD affect a child's behavior in school?

As I used to teach elementary and pre-school, I've seen many behaviors that are quickly labelled as "naughty" or "disobedient".  This is an unfair label due to the fact that SPD kids cannot control themselves when they are overloaded with sensory inputs and having a sensory meltdown.  As such, I feel that many of these kids go through their school years with a reputation that no one really likes to carry.

In my experience growing up unknowingly with SPD, it was very common for my classmates and teachers to label me as "weird" due to my little quirks.  I would be the girl everyone would see walking all over the school during recess and/or lunch.

I'm not kidding when I said all over the school, I really mean all over the school.

There were times I didn't just walk.  I ran.

SPD and Oral Motor Problems

You also mentioned that R has aversions to certain food textures due to SPD.  Could that be related to his speech delay?

If you were to ask R's speech language pathologist (SLP), the answer is a resounding yes.  One of the red flags of SPD is language delay as well as feeding problems.  We had R assessed by an SLP around the same time as the OT, then another assessment with the SLP a few months after consistent OT sessions.

Language works in two ways- expressive and receptive.  Receptive language basically is how we understand words.  It's the ability to understand language.  This is how we learn to associate words with items and contexts.  Expressive language is the use of words, sentences and basically language.