Teaching Your Special Needs Child about God

"Always pray for your child."

I've attended quite a few parenting seminars over the years, and one of the statements I've always heard from speakers of said seminars is the urgency to bring your child to the foot of the Lord's throne.

As a Christian, I do believe in answered prayers, of those petitions and praises that have been lifted up to Jesus from hearts that truly seek and love Him.  Of comfort to me is the promise that He always hears, as stated in 1 John 5:14 that "this is the confidence that we have toward him, that if we ask anything according to his will he hears us".

It is of no question that my husband and I, on the day we were married, aim to raise the children that God would bless us with in the "discipline and instruction of the Lord" (Ephesians 6:4).  And that in itself is hard enough with neurotypical children.

But when we're talking about special needs children, how do we teach them as we are commanded to in the Bible?

When R was barely a year old, we tried to establish a habit of reading a Bible story before bedtime.  We'd then say prayers with him before turning in for the night.  And for a little while, it seemed to work.  He wasn't too interested in the book and the stories, but we chalked it up to him being a baby.

But then the years rolled by, R got older and older, and his interest in our Bible story time stayed the same.  I could not make him sit still long enough to appreciate the pictures in the book, and when I physically forced him to sit on my lap, he began to dislike books.  I'm a bit of a bookworm, and I do want R to appreciate them, so the last thing I wanted was to make him hate reading.

So hubby and I decided to let him go at his pace.  Nowadays, we allow him to move around the room as we read from his little devotional book.  He's obviously listening though he doesn't really comment on whatever is being discussed.

The devotional material we use currently.  Can be purchased here.

We've been reading this for almost a year now and he seems to be okay with it.  He'll always say something like "Daddy, read please" or "Mommy read" to indicate who he wanted to read to him for that day.

Establishing a habit of prayer was easier than establishing the reading time.  It used to be that we said his prayers to him, and he eventually learned to say "Amen" at the age of 4.  Nowadays he's able to verbalize in a few words what he wanted to pray about (i.e. "Thank you for elevators!") and seems interested to talk to Jesus in this way.  He even makes his favorite toys pray with him!

My husband and I not only tried to model praying to him, we also tried our best expose him to a community that prays.  Our church was instrumental in that, as R has witnessed not just us praying, but other members of the family and church friends as well.  He knows that when he hears the word "pray", that it was time to clasp his hands together.  He hasn't quite mastered closing his eyes and bowing his head yet, but he's the first to yell out, "In Jesus' name, amen!" as soon as the pastor or whoever is finished speaking.  It's quite heart-warming to watch him do this.

So before we get into my little list of tips, I would really like to say that involving the spiritual training of our special needs children, we shouldn't assume that they don't understand.  Children understand more than we think they do, and that goes for our special little ones as well.  They may not tell you, but they are watching, listening and internalizing what we have been trying to teach to them.  Albeit a little scary, they're also internalizing what we've been doing in terms of our spiritual walk with God.

I suppose one of the biggest concerns of special needs parents, who are also Christians, is how to encourage our special child to make that step to reach out, proverbially speaking, and talk to and about God.  And if we do make the attempt, how much does our child understand?

Here are my tips in trying to teach your special child about God.

• Pray for and with your child. 
• This is the most important thing.  There's no point trying to point your child to a God whom you don't connect with.  I'm guilty of this a lot of times, and have been trying to remind myself to come before His throne more often than I should be doing.  You come before God first, then you model by praying together.  R, as I said, learned to pray because he not only watched us pray, but also because we've always prayed with him.
• Get as many people as you can to pray and petition to God as well.  If, like me, you're from a family of believers, then enlist these relatives to pray for you, your spouse/partner, and your child.  Friends in church who are active as prayer warriors can also be requested to remember you and your little family in their prayers.
• Go at your child's pace.
• Make the lessons as relevant to your child at his/her current level.  As I had previously stated, R was not a kid that we could force to sit still and listen to Bible stories.  So we had to throw out of the window the notion that because he was moving around the room, he wasn't listening.  He actually was, and just needed to move to either help himself settle or stimulate himself to listen.  Which brings me to my next tip...
• Presume that your child is paying attention.
• I didn't want to say "don't assume your child is not listening" as I wanted to give positive tips, but the idea is there.  Our special children do know and are aware of more than what we think.
• Be patient.
• As my former boss said, "For children, LOVE is spelled T-I-M-E."  And it takes time for a lot of the ideas you want to teach your child to take root before it can bear fruit.  Just like cultivating a plant, it takes time to grow.
• Nourish and nurture your child by modeling the traits you want him/her to establish.
• Following the plant analogy, it also takes water, proper plant food, and pruning to grow a healthy plant.  The same with our children.  We "water" and "nourish" them by teaching them about God, His love and forgiveness, and "prune" them by godly and loving discipline.
• Finally, always point your child to Jesus.
• I've been trying to make an effort to acknowledge R's interests, and it's led to him being really excited to pray about what makes him happy.  Stuff like elevators, trains, planes, ships, and more, I tried to incorporate them into his prayer time, to thank God for blessing him with these.
• It's gone to a point where R has actually been thanking God for some of the people he sees everyday, and he refuses to end a prayer without mentioning these wonderful people who love him.  Do encourage your child to at least say thank you for some of the persons in his or her life.

And there you have it.  It's not a very long list, as I don't claim to be an expert, but these are what I've been picking up as we journey with R.

I hope to be able to share a bit more as time goes by, but for now, allow me to leave you with a Bible story that has become really close to my heart due to R's diagnosis.  From John 9:1-7,

As he passed by, he saw a man blind from birth. And his disciples asked him,“Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?” Jesus answered, “It was not that this man sinned, or his parents, but that the works of God might be displayed in him. (emphasis mine) We must work the works of him who sent me while it is day; night is coming, when no one can work. As long as I am in the world, I am the light of the world.” Having said these things, he spit on the ground and made mud with the saliva. Then he anointed the man's eyes with the mud and said to him, “Go, wash in the pool of Siloam” (which means Sent). So he went and washed and came back seeing.