Tantrums vs Sensory Meltdowns

Okay, so you mentioned about how children respond when overwhelmed with sensory issues.  How is that different from normal toddler tantrums?

That is an excellent question that hubby and I also at one point asked R's OT.  True, toddlers, and even pre-school aged children throw tantrums when they don't get their way.  Both look very similar because both involve an upset child.

This article is a good piece to read to help differentiate between the two.  Basically, a tantrum is a reaction a child makes when he doesn't get what he wants.  Kids with ADD and learning disabilities are more prone to tantrums due to their impulsiveness.  It's usually a behavioral issue more than anything else.

A sensory meltdown, on the other hand, is not a behavioral issue.  When a meltdown is happening in kids with SPD (and this includes ASD, ADD and others), they're feeling overwhelmed because there is too much sensory information to process.  Their brains can't keep up with all the sensations they're getting and the only way to express it, or get it to stop, is to just drop and scream.

The article mentioned above describes it this way.

Here’s one way to think about too much sensory input. Imagine filling a small water pitcher. Most of the time, you can control the flow of water and fill the pitcher a little at a time. But sometimes the water flow is too strong and the pitcher overflows before you can turn the water off.

That’s how a sensory meltdown works. The noise at the amusement park or the stack of clothes to try on in the dressing room at the mall is sensory input that floods your child’s brain. Once that happens, some experts think your child’s “fight or flight” response kicks in. That excess input overflows in the form of yelling, crying, lashing out or running away.

So when your child is expressing that he or she is upset, try to find the source.  Usually, if it's behavioral, it's a tantrum.  If it's sensory, it's a meltdown.

How do we handle a tantrum or a meltdown then?

I'll directly quote the article I mentioned, as the information is quite solid and clear.

The causes of tantrums and meltdowns are different, and so are the strategies that can help stop them. It’s important to remember that the key difference between the two types of outbursts is that tantrums usually have a purpose. Kids are looking for a certain response. Meltdowns are a reaction to something and are usually beyond a child’s control.

A child can often stop a tantrum if he gets what he wants. Or if he’s rewarded for using a more appropriate behavior. But a meltdown isn’t likely to stop when a child gets what he wants. In fact, he may not even know what he wants.

Meltdowns tend to end in one of two ways. One is fatigue—kids wear themselves out. The other way a change in the amount of sensory input. This can help kids feel less overwhelmed. For example, your child may start to feel calmer when you step outside the store and leave the mall.

So how can you handle tantrums and meltdowns differently?

• To tame tantrums, acknowledge what your child needs without giving in. Make it clear that you understand what he’s after. “I see that you want my attention. When your sister is done talking, it’ll be your turn.” Then help him see there’s a more appropriate behavior that will work. “When you’re done yelling, tell me calmly that you’re ready for my time.”

• To manage a meltdown, help your child find a safe, quiet place to de-escalate.“Let’s leave the mall and sit in the car for a few minutes.” Then provide a calm, reassuring presence without talking too much to your child. The goal is to reduce the input coming at him.

I will share with you examples of R having a tantrum and a meltdown in my next post, as it is quite a long story.  For now, do think about your child and what are the sources of his distress.  It helps to know the difference and it will be the most beneficial to your child, and in all honesty, to your own sanity as well.