SPD and Bullying

Last week, I came across this amazing post shared by Dayna of Lemon Lime Adventures.  It was written anonymously by a mother who also lives with SPD while raising her three daughters who were also diagnosed with the same.

A lot of it rang true for me.  Living with SPD, albeit unknowingly for so many years, was not easy.  And it wasn't helpful to grow up with bullying that comes due to misinformation and misunderstandings.  I was labelled "weird", "clumsy", "uncoordinated" (this despite the fact that I liked to dance), and was oftentimes excluded from many activities from my peers due to this.

And now I am a mother of a boy who exhibits many of the same characteristics I had growing up-  the running, the jumping, the bumping into things, the habit of looking back while I walked forward, the spinning, and so on.  I want to protect him from the bullying and disdain I had experienced growing up, and the best way to combat this is through raising awareness.

And this got me thinking about another topic I am equally passionate about- child abuse.

Child abuse is rampant and unacceptable, regardless of whatever form it manifests as.  The forms of abuse are broken down as follows by Childhelp:

1. Physical Abuse - the act of physically hurting a child.  This includes "striking, kicking, burning, biting, hair pulling, choking, throwing, shoving, whipping or any other action that injures a child. Even if the caregiver didn’t mean to cause injury, when the child is injured it is abuse. Physical discipline from a parent that does not injure or impair a child is not considered abuse; however non-violent alternatives are always available."
2. Sexual Abuse - the act of using sex as a means to break down a child's self-worth and dignity.  It is also "when an adult uses a child for sexual purposes or involves a child in sexual acts. It also includes when a child who is older or more powerful uses another child for sexual gratification or excitement."
3. Emotional or Psychological Abuse - "When a parent or caregiver harms a child’s mental and social development, or causes severe emotional harm, it is considered emotional abuse. While a single incident may be abuse, most often emotional abuse is a pattern of behavior that causes damage over time."
4. Child Neglect - This is when "a parent or caregiver does not give the care, supervision, affection and support needed for a child’s health, safety and well-being. Child neglect includes - physical neglect and inadequate supervision, emotional neglect, medical neglect, educational neglect."

The abuse can happen physically, with face-to-face interaction between abuser and victim, or it can happen from a distance (i.e. cyberbullying).

An article by The Arc, an orgnaization in the US advocating for the rights of intellectually disabled people, showed that though the research is lacking due to insufficient information, there seems to be an increased risk of abuse of children with intellectual and behavioral issues.  

One in three children with an identified disability for which they receive special education services are victims of some type of maltreatment (i.e., either neglect, physical abuse, or sexual abuse) whereas one in 10 nondisabled children experience abuse. Children with any type of disability are 3.44 times more likely to be a victim of some type of abuse compared to children without disabilities. (Sullivan & Knutson, 2000).

That is an alarming thought.  But what does this have to do with bullying?

A study by the University of Western Sydney shows that schoolyard bullying is just as bad as child abuse.  A direct quote from the article states the following:

Dr [Jean] Healey says the similarities between child abuse and bullying are far more noteworthy than the differences.

"Not only are the actual behaviours often the same, there is plenty of evidence that peer abuse can have equally serious and permanent repercussions as other forms of abuse."

"Both forms of abuse have striking similarities in terms of the psychological impact, the power relationship between victim and abuser, the availability of support structures within the social network of the victim, and access to professionals who can intervene on their behalf."

Put all that together and this is what we get.  Children with special needs are more prone to be abused.  They are also more likely to be bullied.  And bullying has the same negative psychological impact as child abuse.

This is why this blog exists, to promote awareness on SPD.  And hopefully, as a result, to stop the abuse and bullying of children, special needs or not, by their peers and/or adults.

Living in the Philippines, I have heard many rumors of how the government is sorely lacking in supporting people with special needs, though I have yet to confirm those.  But I can attest that not a lot of people know about SPD, and often many of these kids are labelled as naughty and misbehaving when they're simply overwhelmed with sensory inputs.  Sometimes it frustrates the parents to the point that they end up resenting the child.

Even more, the child's behavior carries over to school where their classmates exclude him/her from their activities and mock them behind his/her back.  Sometimes the mocking happens right at their face.  And it's always a terrible feeling to be the receiving end of the bullying.

This has to stop.

For our children's sake.